It has taken us a while but a sure sign that we are settling into our new post-retirement life is that we had a delightful evening of conversation with friends last night. New friends whom we met in our new church came to our house for dinner. We asked them to come over in the late afternoon so we would have a bit of time to talk before dinner. They did and we had such an engaging conversation that when they left for home I looked at my watch to discover that it was much later than I expected. They have to get to work this morning. I, however, am retired and can take things easy.

Friends have been one of the blessings of our lives in all of the places where we have lived.

Boundary training classes and professional development classes all mention the importance of ministers having friends who are not members of the congregation they are serving. We have had friends who are not members of our congregations, but we have also had plenty of good friends who have belonged to the churches we have served. Our social life has always revolved around the church, and the people with whom we are most bonded are people who share our passion for the church and its ministries.

When we agreed to serve as Interim Ministers of Faith Formation at our church, we were very clear that being members of the church was important to us. We said that if serving would mean that we would have to leave the church when we completed the interim, we would withdraw our names from consideration for the position. As it turned out, we did take a few weeks away from regular worship with the congregation when we completed our time of service, but soon returned to the church and to the friends we have made.

Being with friends from the church is natural to us. And naturally, one of the topics of conversation when we are with friends is the church. Our congregation is facing several challenges and like other members of the church, we are concerned about its future. While it would be inappropriate for us to criticize the leadership of the congregation or to become involved in certain leadership positions now that we are no longer working for the congregation, it is natural for us to care about decisions that are made about the future of the church. With the annual meeting just a week away and challenging choices ahead for our church it was natural for the topic of the church to come up in our conversation.

Of course there were plenty of other topics that came up. One of the people who sat at our table last night has retired more recently that we and the topic of how we are adjusting to being retired came up. Another was recently widowed and fond memories of her mate were shared. We spoke of the challenges of raising children, of our love for children’s literature, of the books we are reading, of the weather and a thousand other topics as one does when with friends who love and accept us as we are.

As I drifted off to sleep I was filled with gratitude for the blessings of friends that we have been given in the many different places where we have lived. The holidays brought us greetings from friends who we have made in each of the congregations we have served. Among those greetings are news of friends we have known for more than four decades. Even though it has been many years since we have lived in their town, we have remained in touch and we know that if we had the opportunity to sit down to a meal with them the conversation would flow as freely as it does with our new friends.

There are people in our lives with whom we can pick up conversation even after years of living separate lives in separate places. While there are many ways to meet other people, for us, so many of our life-long friends have come to us as gifts from the church. Having shared faith and mission has brought us close to one another.

One of the blessings of being ministers is that each move of our lives has given us a community into which to move. With each call to serve a congregation has come a fully-formed community of people who have welcomed and supported us. It was, to be sure, a bit different for us when we retired. Part of that difference was something that everyone experienced. The pandemic left us all feeling a bit more isolated. Part of that difference was that for the first time in our adult lives we were moving to be near family rather than to a specific congregation. It took us a bit of looking to find the right congregation to join. Then, as a surprise to us, a call came to come out of retirement to serve in as interim ministers. We quickly moved from the edges of the church into the center of its life and activity. We met the children and their families, we learned their names, we got to know what was going on in their lives. We heard their stories. We were inspired by them.

We knew that we wanted to get to know them better. And there is no better way to get to know people than to sit down for a meal with them. The oak dining room table that has been the center of our family life is a perfect place for a small group of friends to sit, share a meal, and get to know one another better. It has heard a lot of stories over the years. Tears have been shed as we sat around it. Laughter has filled the air and our hearts as we ate. Good food and good friends combine for great memories.

We are not alone. And for that I am deeply grateful.